Unbelievable

Well, let's see looking back at my posts, I should have never posted on Friday the 21st about my optimism turn because as many of you now know, Saturday morning at 11:33am Mr. Edmond Wynnemer (my maiden name) Woods entered the world weighing in at 6 lbs. 11 oz. measuring 1'7.5" as Ian says it 19.5" for everyone else!!!! Wow, I am still in shock.
Long Version: Skip down to the short version if this is too much for you...
Friday, for work I sat on my butt doing various things for maybe 8 of my 9 hours yet my kankles were worse than I had ever seen them and seriously felt like they were jiggling as I walked. Not to mention I could not even bend them to walk. However, we had the Sand's Annual Christmas party to attend that evening and that we did without a care in the world except for that dreaded 10 hr. shift I was supposed to pull on the following Sat. Ian did not hold back from his normal drinking habits and at 2am when I convinced him it was time to go was coherent enough to put on two different shoes. (Oh yes, the rest of the evening was spent with the rented karaoke machine - Conway Twitty anyone? need I say more) Anyway, the following morning I woke from his normal work alarm so 5:45am or so and realized the habanero cheese I had been enjoying at the party was no longer enjoyable and made a few trips to the bathroom throughout the next few hours- in between the trips I noticed some pain as people had described as contractions but dismissed them as habanero pains and kept trying to sleep nonchalantly paying attention to the clock as I tossed and turned. I think I jokingly woke Ian and told him at some point throughout the ordeal and said I think we might need to go to the hospital. Unfortunately, due to his ingestions the prior night he joked right along saying, "Ok, I'll get naked in case I have to get dressed." I was still in denial about the whole thing, but I got in the tub in attempt to shave and maybe when I was done, paint my toes. I kept asking Ian how far apart they were. They went from 10 to 6 min. apart and he started to get serious when he realized the pains were coming and going less than 3 min. apart (picture him hungover with a stop watch in his hand trying to pack my bag for me). After his cold shower, running around trying to sober up he suggested we maybe get going because I might be hungry for a coffee with extra milk or something (that was really for him), I was suffering and stalling. I made a call to my sister asking her when she went in with her pregnancies. She said when the pain was unbearable, so I thought I could make it a little longer. I did not want to get sent home as one of those paranoid freaks. I decided maybe a bath might help. Finally, when the pains were less than 2 min. apart and Ian said we have to go for the 11th time. I said, "Call and ask." The nurse told him she cannot tell him officially anything over the phone. He said, "Well, unofficially?" She must have said get moving. On our way out the door around 9:45am or so Ian's brother Don comes over to work on the nursery and we send away a man who arrived to give us an estimate on the nursery floor. Oh yes, and I finally let him call work for me. We listened to "it's the most wonderful time of the year" lyrics as we drove- semi-humorous. As we pulled in to the hospital parking lot, Ian parked in the regular visitor lot and we made our way in (keep in mind contractions are coming every minute and a half or so by now) as we made our way to the door and I was suffering through yet another contraction two women passed and said, "Merry Christmas!" Just what I was thinking at the time... In the hospital, Ian put me in a wheel chair and started to head up to Family Birthing as his Godmother who happens to work at registration stopped us for some paperwork. He tells her there is no time and no one knows we are here so don't tell anyone, so I sign some papers and away we go. They put me in a triage room asking me for a urine sample. Yeah Right! After I put the gown on and break the news to the nurse Missy that urine is not happening, she decides to check me... 7 cm with a bulging bag of waters she says, so at this point I finally admit we are not going home and give Ian the OK to make minimal necessary contacts. She asks if I need anything for pain and when I tell her, "No," she says,
"Do you want me not to ask? Or you'll just tell me?" I say,
"I'll tell you." to her look of insanity. As we get into the delivery room, I make them turn down the monitors so I cannot hear the progression of my contractions. Dr. Julie Anderson comes in to introduce herself as the Dr. on-call and informs us Dr. Spaulding is 20 min. out. Missy is attempting to put an IV in because I am Strep B positive. However, she says my veins have valves and she doesn't know how it will go- yep, she in fact hit a valve and dug around in there for awhile, but that was the least of my concerns at this time. She thinks she gets it in with some tape for stabilization and tells Ian, as she needs to leave the room, that the call button will get her and the emergency button will get anyone who is close. As I suffer through yet another contraction, which by this time is pretty intense and I am starting to feel the urge to push, my water breaks or bursts as we should say all over me and the bed and I say to Ian, "Water!" he says,
"I don't know where I put it..." I say,
"Not that water!" So, he pulls the emergency cord and staff come running. They all begin shuffling around the room trying to prep things as fast as they can. Dr. Anderson puts some gloves on and sits on the edge of my bed in her jeans and sweater telling me, "Well you are at 10cm, so we are ready to push." By this time, I do not want to push and she doesn't even look ready! So, I ask her,
"Well, what are we doing here? You don't look ready?" She says,
"We're just going to see what you can do." So I give her some half-hearted pushes to amuse her and the nurse says, "Come on! Push like a BM!" Really?! I think to myself that is not motivating or inspirational at all and No, I do not want to hold my own disgusting thighs at this time.
Well, it rather becomes a blur from here but the moral goes I pushed through three contractions in a matter of 15 min. blew a blood vessel in my eye, suffered a "stage II" tear, blasted the unprepared nurse with birth fluid (Ian imitates her spitting it out of her mouth, but I don't believe him), all without drugs and out was our little blue man! With the saddest cry you ever heard): his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck but it went so fast that he was fine- They unwrapped it as they pulled him out. I assume that is where the blast came from. Then, they pretty much forced Ian to cut the cord (which he did not want to do) "Come on you can do it!" they told him. As people shuffled again they started harassing us about some Hepatitis vaccine- Really? Just go away and give us our baby naked baby- ok maybe put a diaper on him(: Still in shock we spent some skin to skin time with our new boy and enjoyed numerous visitors throughout the rest of the day.
Short Version:
Went to the hospital and had him Sat AM- love him!